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I first met Jim around 4 years ago at this church. I was attracted to him at first as he resembled my father who went to be with the Lord 20 years ago. As I got to spend time with him I learned more of his fine qualities. Many of them were very similar to my own Father. I loved spending time with him. Loved when he put his arm around me and when I had the opportunity to do the same to him.
I watched him on Sunday’s during worship service as he clapped his hands and sang praises to God. I watched him when he would put cream cheese on his bagels at Café Connection. He was part of the prayer team that would be up praying for people during the service. There were many times I went up for prayer and he would pray for me and say “ Son it is going to be all right” I saw his eyes light up at the Indian Restaurant when he would have a Pokora ( North Indian Hors d'oeuvre) with green chutney. I never had green chutney until I saw Jim eat it. It is fitting that with Jim passing away the Indian Restaurant closed in Delran. We have Chili’s to look forward to now!!!
There was a Wednesday night in Feb 2007 I cried like a baby when I had lost a consulting assignment and was not sure how I was going to put food on the table for my growing family. He stayed with me as I cried my heart out gently placing his hand on my shoulder.
I loved cooking chicken curry for him and Katie when they would visit my home. I loved waiting on him, serving him and making his tea. His eyes would light up as I would brew his tea in front of him green for Jim and black for Katie. He would say proudly “my buddy Sam always makes me my tea.” Even in Café connection Joe Beretta would look for him so that he could wait on Jim. We enjoyed treating Jim special. I loved touching him and seeing him nod gave me an assurance that everything was all right.
The last time I addressed a gathering this big was in January of 2009 when I spoke at a graduation ceremony for Philadelphia Entrepreneurs. I had invited him to attend and he was there along with Sal and Joe Beretta to show his support for me. He was dressed up to the T and again hugged me and said “Son I am proud of you” He came to see my son Micah play freshman football for Cinnaminson against Willingboro. It was a cold rainy fall day but it did not stop Jim from being there. That had a huge impact on Micah that Jim would spend an afternoon at short notice watching him play football. I had called him before I left home and he was there umbrella in hand. He supported Micah’s mission trip to Ecuador with pray and a generous donation. He also always took part in fund raisers when my family was raising support for a young man Paul Chishala from Zambia that we supported through school at South Western. Other than talking about the Lord we would love to talk about Military Pageantry that we were both familiar with having attended Military Tattoos him in Scotland me in Sri Lanka.
He was proud of his children. His eyes would gleam and his face light up as he talked about his daughter Jackie’s move to DC, Ryan’s latest achievements in Martial Arts and Billy’s last promotion or work out DVD. I received e mails from him regularly most of which had to do with keeping the faith. He confided in me quite a bit- he was a kind man quick to forgive and slow to pass judgment. I never heard him talk bad about people or raise his voice or utter a word that was not in keeping with who he was. He never failed to bring his grand children to church so that they could learn and grow in their faith.
Jim could not tell jokes like Sal Miliziano but he could light up a room with his contagious smile
Jim could not hold a tune like Ron Crognole but one knew that his music reached God’s ears as he half sang half hummed the worship song we were singing
Jim was not as eloquent as Pastor Paul but when he spoke we listened a quiet confidence that everything was going to be all right
Jim was not a Chief Operating Officer of a company like Joe Beretta but we loved waiting on him when he was around us
Jim was not tall like Larry… dark and handsome maybe yet his attractive presence was felt by everyone in the room
So what was it about Jim that made him so special….
Jim was a Christian first….
Pastor Paul has been teaching the last 2 weeks on finishing the race well. Jim knew who he was. Yes he was a sailor, an officer, Yes he was an American, Yes he was an African American…. but he was a Christian first. There was no doubt that Jim was conducting himself as a man of god, child of god, brother in Christ. He was consistent in His walk. He was kind and gentle in his response to Katie, children, grand children, church members, community.
One of the founding fathers Thomas Jefferson said..
“I never did, or considered doing, in public life, a single act inconsistent with the strictest good faith; having never believed there was one code of morality for a public, and another for a private man. ”
Jim lived by this truth
It was never about Jim….
In the book Purpose driven life the author Rick Warren writes in the first chapter that it is not about us, our personal fulfillment, our peace of mind, our happiness and our goals and ambitions. Jim understood this truth and lived his life in honor and glory for God and service for others. His ability to serve came out of this truth. Even last Wednesday he was in a small group with my wife and I as Ron taught the class. He walked in late but still wanted his own outline and was taking detailed notes. I was observing him again his diligence, his faithfulness and willingness to learn. Many people of Jim’s vintage would comment on how loud the music was, or how they did not like the beat or the lyrics…. Not Jim I would observe him singing along lost in his own worship and adoration to the Lord. For Jim it was not about Jim. His prayer was that of an old saint who prayed…..
Teach us, good Lord,
to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do your will.
It was these 2 attributes that were the biggest factors of his life- A Christian First and it was never about Jim
As I close this tribute to my friend and adopted father I would like to say a few words to his children William, Jackie Ryan & Billy
If you are like me come Monday morning you want to go out there and live out this special godly legacy that your father modeled for you. Like me I bet Monday would be a good day.. you managed to keep the faith. You struggle through Tuesday and you did it. By Wednesday you have blown it and you want to give up. When you are at this point remember what your Dad would say…
Put your hands in the hands of the man who stilled the waters
Put your hands in the hands of the man who calmed the sea
Your Daddy showed you enough of what it takes to get you through
By putting your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee
Now you know why I am never asked sing up front in church!!!
Remember that your Dad’s legacy was in Jesus and as you trust and lean on the Lord He will enable you to live out your life in the richness and purposes that your father modeled for you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing him with me and my family.
Katie you know we all have a special place in our heart for you. We will never be able to replace the void that Jim left in your life. But if ever you are in a mood for rice and curry, black tea with a spot of milk and sugar or a Shandy like we know how to make it remember we are only a phone call away.
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